


Morning Thoughts

by StreetSolo



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Delena, F/M, Season 5 Spoilers, season 6, season 6 intro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 04:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1885662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StreetSolo/pseuds/StreetSolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elena rolled over in her sleep, her fingertips brushing against the cold sheets beside her. Something in this action startled her awake, and she blinked sleepily through dark strands of hair at the empty place beside her. </p><p>It was wrong. It was all wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning Thoughts

Elena rolled over in her sleep, her fingertips brushing against the cold sheets beside her. Something in this action startled her awake, and she blinked sleepily through dark strands of hair at the empty place beside her.

            It was wrong. It was all wrong.

            Two months later and it still felt like he had never left, at least not really. She dreamed about him so often it felt like he was always there with her. Just last night she had a dream…he was in it, wasn’t he? He was, that’s right. He was saying…he was saying…

            She shook her head and it was gone. At least the words were. The image of his face, his dark hair windswept, his piercing blue eyes gazing into hers – she could live a thousand lifetimes and still never be able to erase the thought of those eyes.

            She had no idea how empty her life was before she met him. And of course one could argue that her life was empty before she knew about vampires in general, before her life was filled with what seemed to be never-ending death and chaos. But Stefan had never challenged her the way Damon had, couldn’t make her feel things as deeply as Damon made her feel. She had hated him, truly hated him for so long, she had no idea how she could love someone she had sworn she could never even be able to forgive. And yet she had done it. It was as though he thrust some force of maturity on her, forced her to see the world around her through different colored glass. It was the same one she had always lived in, but somehow it was different in every single way, too.

            And now he was gone. The one who took her world and shook it upside down was gone and she was left with…what, exactly? She was an immortal vampire, as corny as it was to say – she had a whole lifetime to do…what? Mourn him? Find him? That was great – where would they even begin looking?

            Jeremy had ideas, but then again, in between his bouts of depression and solitude, Jeremy couldn’t stop talking about ways to bring Bonnie back. After a while, Elena thought it was probably just better to keep him talking, rather than watch him fold in on himself. Alaric had commented that it had been particularly hard for them – Elena had lost her boyfriend, Jeremy had lost his girlfriend – why did Gilberts have to take it so hard on the chin all the time? But Alaric was so frequently in “Learn How to be a Vamp 101” with Stefan and Caroline that it felt like he was never really around.

            After she and Caroline had mourned the loss of Bonnie, Caroline had made some comment that it was better for Elena this way – with Damon gone? The bitterness that Elena felt welling up inside her almost made her switch off her humanity, and so the two hadn’t spoken too much since then. She and Stefan felt a little more frequently, although Stefan seemed to take on an odd role of “adoptive big brother.” “I miss him too, Elena.” “He really loved you, Elena.” “Take your time to mourn him, Elena.” But he would never entertain the notion that Damon could come back, or even to begin looking for him. Elena tried at first, tried desperately to appeal to him…but Stefan was resolute. The other side was gone, Damon was gone, and there was no way to get him back. The only person who really seemed to be in her corner was Jeremy.

            Elena felt tears pulling at the corners of her eyes and she took a quick unsteady breath. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t wake up today and try to face the world without Damon. The more morbid thoughts, of pulling off her daylight ring and rushing into the sunrise always came around night time, when she went to bed alone. She remembered when that happened before, when she pulled off the ring and came so close to death – yet Damon had saved her. Damon had _always_ been there to save her. So what would she do when evil reared its head yet again? Without Damon there to save her, who would?

            Helpless. Elena Gilbert would never have before described herself as helpless, but she did now. She had slowly let Damon become her all, her everything, and now what was she going to do? She had an eternity to live…alone. An eternity to miss him. She could raise Jeremy, sure, but he wasn’t a vampire. In a hundred years he would be cold in the ground and she would be…what? Still just lurking around Mystic Falls? Maybe after Jeremy passed, she could take off the daylight ring and go too, meet Damon on the Other Side, or, since that was gone, whatever remained. I mean, people had to go _somewhere_ when they died, didn’t they? It wasn’t like he just vanished…

            Elena closed her eyes and sunk her face into the pillow. She didn’t want to look at a clock. She didn’t want to get up. She wanted to exist in this limbo space forever, where the world took nothing and wanting nothing of her. She tried to picture a time last summer when she and Damon were together, happy. Maybe if she focused hard enough she could go back to that time, go back and stop him from-

_“You are by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my 173 years on this earth. But I get to die knowing that I was loved not just by anyone. By you, Elena Gilbert. It is the epitome of a fulfilled life. It’s never gonna get any better than this. I love you, Elena.”_

            “Damon?” Elena sat up, looking around her. He wasn’t there. He never was. But she _heard_ him. His voice was so real, words quivering under the weight of his tears. Had he said that to her, at one time? She couldn’t think of any time…unless…were these the final words to her, before the Other Side had collapsed?

            And if she was hearing those words now, what did they mean? That the Other Side had come back somehow? That Damon…if the Other Side was back, maybe Damon had come back as well?

            “Jeremy,” she screamed. She flung back the covers and tossed her legs out of bed. She grabbed her jeans off the floor and pulled them on, shrugging a hoodie over her shoulders. Damon and Bonnie existed yet, somehow, somewhere, and she wasn’t going to give up until she was reunited with them again. She had no idea how they would go about it, but she had her whole life to figure it out. What better day to start then today?

            After all, Damon would never give up on her.


End file.
